Abraham Lincoln Almost Married Someone Else

Long before Abraham Lincoln married Mary Todd, there was another Mary–Mary Owens. Lincoln had known Mary during his New Salem years, and at one point he apparently thought she might make a suitable wife. Her sister encouraged the possibility, and Lincoln agreed that if may returned to Illinois, he would consider marrying her.

So Mary returned. And Lincoln immediately had second thoughts.

This is one of those episodes in Lincoln’s life that makes him seem wonderfully human. He wasn’t the confident figure we see in photographs from the presidency. He was a young man trying to figure out love, marriage, ambition–and himself.

Lincoln began telling himself all the reasons Mary might not suit him after all. Yet getting out of the situation wasn’t simple. He had made what he regarded as a commitment, and his sense of honor made him reluctant simply to walk away from it.

So he wavered. His surviving letters to Mary are remarkable because Lincoln seems almost to be trying to persuade her not to marry him. He pointed out the difficulties she might face as his wife and questioned whether he could make her happy.

Eventually, Mary made the decision easier. She turned him down. Lincoln later looked back on the episode with embarrassment, but I found it intriguing because of what it tells us about his early life and who he was. It happened during the period I’m writing about in Lincoln Seeks Justice for Elijah Lovejoy.

This Lincoln doesn’t know that Mary Todd is in his future. He doesn’t know that Springfield will transform his life, that his political ambitions will take him far beyond Illinois, or that historians will someday examine his awkward courtship letters looking for clues to the man he became.

He’s simply trying to decide whether he wants to marry Mary Owens–and not handling it particularly well.

That’s one of the things I enjoy about following Lincoln through different periods of his life. We know where his story leads. He still has to live his way there.

Current Projects

My Book: Continuing revisions of Lincoln Seeks Justice for Elijah Lovejoy, where I explore Abraham Lincoln during these uncertain yearly years in Springfield.

Edward Bryant: Continuing preparations for future publication and preservation of stories by my friend Edward Bryant.

Thanks for walking alongside me.